Waking up

That moment when you don't even know what you did was right or wrong anymore, when you  discover the truth behind a inebriation, when one say things and you think about it over and over and remember "what was said drunk was thought sober" and you ask yourself if everything that one said and you pray for this sentence be completely wrong...

What the hell keep I making the same errors? To let myself be fooled, I gave him everything I could and I was discarded with this simple sentence "you are my friend". The sentence I thought I would never heard, the sentence that hurt me and made me see the mistakes I am making.

Even though all his mistakes, I still love him and I want to be with him, I feel like I'm bipolar when I am with him, I feel as want to leave but at the same time I want to stay with him ... Can someone explain what am I feeling? Will this turn be the one where I really fall in love with somebody? Will this turn be the one where I will hate him more? Shall I forgive him? Or make him swallow everything he put me through?